Elmore Leonard on A.A. and Sobriety

From Rich Seeley's journal for March 25, 1998:

Elmore Leonard is my unofficial, in absentia, A.A. sponsor. At Barnes & Noble in Coolidge Corner [Brookline, Mass.] I found a book – THE COURAGE TO CHANGE by Dennis Wholey – which I first bought and read in Orange County when I was married to S and trying to stay sober. It is a sort of celebrity version of the A.A. Big Book with famous people making their pitches for sobriety. The one that resonated with me then, and did again yesterday, was the interview with Elmore Leonard. Here are some of his encouraging words about what he’s gotten out of sobriety and the A.A. philosophy:

• It’s almost inconceivable to me now, all those games I played, all those things I went through to justify drinking. The big difference nowadays is that I don’t have to look forward to anything. I get up in the morning and being is enough. There isn’t anything that I want to go to see or anything I want.

• I don’t have to do anything. I am much more aware of things going on but in a very quiet way. I don’t need excitement. I’m into my work now, all the way and I’m not straining.

• My personal relationships are better … Getting out of myself and seeing other people and trying not to see me is the key. I’m not going to be able to play roles if I’m not thinking about myself. I just present myself as I am, optimistically, with natural, normal confidence. Here it is. This is who I am. This is what I do. Would you like to buy this book? If you don’t like it, O.K., fine. Someone else will buy it … The key is getting out of yourself.

• Today I realize I have complete trust in God. I’m in His hands. Now, what I’m going to do is try to live according to His will. God’s will, I think, is misinterpreted. God’s will to me means one thing – love – and if I look at this as my primary reason for being here, all the specific things fall into line. When I get up, before I get out of bed, I say, “O.K. Let me be an instrument of Thy will.” I want to be His agent. I want to be used any way He wants to use me. I want to do His work. This is my main reason for being. My reason is not to be a writer, it’s to be with everyone else and see what happens. I see a lot of people I don’t like, but I see the humanness in them. We’re all pretty much in the same boat. A lot of people have ugly dispositions and are fighting life for any number of reasons. But nobody wants to be that way. Nobody really wants to be antagonistic or hard to get along with. After a while, it becomes their nature. I think there is hope for everybody.

• Today I don’t drink. That’s all there is to it. That dismisses the problem.

• I can sit down and write anytime, anywhere. It doesn’t matter. I don’t have to be prepared.